I've been having a fair reflection recently - I suppose COVID19 has been a chance for that, hasn't it?
I've had the chance to reflect on myself and the person I want to be. There is things I like in my personality and things I definitely want to delete. I don't think this is ever a bad thing. It's always good to tweak and make changes.
One thing I realised is I have been a person who seeks approval of others. How about you?
Perhaps part of this is not being confident in who I am. Part of it is not being certain in aspects of my life. Part of it has just been my nature and the family I was raised in.
How did this play out?
I haven't liked to rock the boat and I like to keep the peace. This has often times meant accepting responsibility for things I haven't done, apologising for something I didn't have as big a part in as was claimed and well just really taking on my shoulders more than I probably should have.
The problem with seeking approval
But... I don't think this is a great space to be in. It's meant while others have often times given me feedback on things I have done, and don't get me wrong we all need compassionate feedback. On the flip side I've sat in the space where people have dumped all the things they don't like me on me.
And they have done it multiple times. I don't sit in the same space. When I give feedback, I'd really prefer not to (I do, but it needs to be done in a compassionate and kind way).
I tell you this for a reason.
I had a huge epiphany the other day. It was great - hence me sharing. And if you are reading this I think you need to hear it. Or you are just curious in which case you need to hear it also.
You do not need the approval of others. And you do not need (hear that word need! that's the important one) to listen to people list what they don't like about you. Or how you didn't do this or that properly. Or you made a wrong comment about something or someone.
I am not perfect and I really don't need to apologise for not being perfect - at all.
No one can make us feel bad about this except ourselves.
So at this stage I chose not to worry about people who are like energy demons - they suck your energy out. I do not need their approval. Full stop. And you don't either.
It comes down to this....
1. Who you chose to surround yourself with is important. Choose people who speak to you with compassion and love. Who are there to support you and what you do not for what they can get out of you, but because of who you are and who they are.
2. What you allow into your mindset space is your choice. You do not need to accept feedback from people that you know will leave you in a worse place than when you began listening.
3. Consider the words you speak about others wisely also. It's all to easy to speak and then realise the words have come out and you cannot take them back.
So when you consider this. It doesn't really matter what others think about you. You don't need the approval of others to be the best version of yourself. To have the best life for yourself. The best business. What matters most is what you think of yourself. If you don't value who you are then others wont either. I've learned this on a number of occassions recently and am learning to let go of those I seek approval from. You are enough. You are worthy and you are amazing.
If you'd like to connect further with like minded mums who are inspired to work on their mindset, mindfulness and to raise theit energy, then I'd love you to jump on over to our facebook group here. You can also grab my guide to balncing wellbeing and emotions naturally here.